There are moments when my children test every ounce of patience I have.

The attitude.

The arguing.

The endless questions.

The refusal to listen.

And sometimes I think to myself:

“Oh. This is why adults were always frustrated with me.”

I wasn’t exactly an easy child.

I had opinions.

I had attitude.

I pushed boundaries.

Looking back, I can understand why some adults lost their patience with me.

But becoming a mother also changed how I view discipline.

I grew up in an environment where physical punishment was considered normal.

Parents did it.

Teachers did it.

Most adults around me accepted it as part of raising children.

Nobody thought much about it.

It was simply the culture and the time.

As a mother now, I try to do things differently.

Not because my parents were evil.

Not because every adult around me was abusive.

But because I have learned that children need more than obedience.

They need understanding.

That doesn’t mean there are no rules in my house.

My children absolutely have rules.

What has changed is that I try to explain things.

I try to listen.

I try to understand what is happening underneath the behavior.

Sometimes they’re tired.

Sometimes they’re frustrated.

Sometimes they’re acting exactly like I used to act.

And that realization is humbling.

Motherhood has taught me that parenting isn’t about creating perfect children.

It’s about raising human beings.

Human beings who will make mistakes.

Human beings who need guidance.

Human beings who deserve to be heard.

I don’t get it right every day.

But I try.

And that’s already different from how I grew up. Now I read books, articles, listen to other parents and this is one of my favorite books I read as a parent. If only my parents had resource and sex education back then